A year after you are gone, it still hurts

I saw your picture today. It was the picture of our family vacation on December 2014. You always looked childish and innocent, although you were a 15 year old boy. They said that you had mild autism that made you different.

A week ago, I met your mother and sister. I guess you know that your sister turned 10 years old. Your mother arranged a birthday party for her. Your sister was very happy and we were also.

Somehow, we knew that you would be happy if you were there with us. Your mother told us that your sister had a secret admirer. A boy sent her a love letter. How sweet is that? I wonder how it would be, if you knew this. Would you be the one who tease her all the time or perhaps become the protective brother? I knew you would be the protective brother.

Your mother told us that in your last days, you became more and more diligent than ever. You went to mosque to pray and made your homework. Even when you were badly ill, you still thought about your exam.

I know that I could not be a perfect aunt. I remember that you asked me to buy you a bicycle, which I never bought until the day you left us. I am so sorry for that. But, I do hope that you remember me as the aunt who bought you favorite toys, Doritos, capsicum and spicy chips.

A year after you are gone, it still hurts to remember that you would not be with us anymore. However, I know that you are happy there. I believe that God gives you more than a bicycle. There will be many toys and food that you like; more than I could give.

Today my dear Rama,
just let me cry a little, because it does still hurt.