Everything I need to know about letting go ; I learned when I was four years old

I was a four year old curly little girl, when I learned to let go. My parents took me to a market to buy a pair of glasses for my mother. When we were passing a toy store, I asked my father to buy me a doll. After asking for the price, my father said we couldn’t afford to buy the doll. I didn’t remember if I cried at that moment. What I remember was my first lesson of letting go.

Years have gone by after that day. My life has been flipped upside down, like today. I was broken hearted. I thought that I was going to cry, but I didn’t. I managed to embrace myself and remember that I have learnt to let go since I was four. These are the things that I learned:

1. You can’t have all dolls that you want.
2. Be grateful of other toys that you have had.
3. There are other cool toys that are meant to be yours after wards.
4. It’s okay to be sad when you can’t have your dream doll. Yes, you probably will cry but after some sleeps, sweets and hugs from your parents, you all will be happy again.
5. Time will heal the pain. Yes, you will remember the cuteness of the doll and the imagined feeling when you hold the doll. When you remember these, your face will become gloomy. But, I promise you; other good things will come out.
6. A cup of vanilla ice cream or your favorite candies will cheer you up.
7. Play with your siblings or friends. They are much more fun than that doll.
8. There is a possibility that you will see the doll again after some times. If you have understood the previous things that I mentioned, you will know that the doll is something that you choose to let go, not the one that got away.

Of course, there is an exception; the doll becomes yours eventually. If this happens, then it's all yours. In my case, I never have the doll and I'm not sorry for that :)

*I owe the idea of writing this from All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum. I didn’t go to a kindergarten by the way. I skipped it and went directly to the 1^st grade (LOL). 

A year after you are gone, it still hurts

I saw your picture today. It was the picture of our family vacation on December 2014. You always looked childish and innocent, although you were a 15 year old boy. They said that you had mild autism that made you different.

A week ago, I met your mother and sister. I guess you know that your sister turned 10 years old. Your mother arranged a birthday party for her. Your sister was very happy and we were also.

Somehow, we knew that you would be happy if you were there with us. Your mother told us that your sister had a secret admirer. A boy sent her a love letter. How sweet is that? I wonder how it would be, if you knew this. Would you be the one who tease her all the time or perhaps become the protective brother? I knew you would be the protective brother.

Your mother told us that in your last days, you became more and more diligent than ever. You went to mosque to pray and made your homework. Even when you were badly ill, you still thought about your exam.

I know that I could not be a perfect aunt. I remember that you asked me to buy you a bicycle, which I never bought until the day you left us. I am so sorry for that. But, I do hope that you remember me as the aunt who bought you favorite toys, Doritos, capsicum and spicy chips.

A year after you are gone, it still hurts to remember that you would not be with us anymore. However, I know that you are happy there. I believe that God gives you more than a bicycle. There will be many toys and food that you like; more than I could give.

Today my dear Rama,
just let me cry a little, because it does still hurt.